Mrs Wilberforce 11:11 Sun Oct 11
The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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A memory popped into my head the other day - no puns please!
20 years ago, I had a real Porn wannabe who went at the task with a real venom. Teeth scraping, spitting, swearing, ball sucking, hair flicking - the full performance.
Pissed me off to the point where I almost clumped her.
You chaps?
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Far Cough
11:12 Sun Oct 11
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Off your mum
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Hammer and Pickle
11:13 Sun Oct 11
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Don't like having my dick in a mouth - it just feels wrong.
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Kelly Smunt
11:16 Sun Oct 11
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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The wort blow job I ever had? Fuckin brilliant!
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doomhunk
11:19 Sun Oct 11
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Pickle, try a lady's mouth before you give it up for good.
SWTOC.
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ManorParkHammer
11:19 Sun Oct 11
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Surprised your mouth has been off of Nurses ring piece for long enough for a dick to be in your mouth Pickle.
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Annony
11:20 Sun Oct 11
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Reminds me of a mate at a party when teens, who got a hand job of an inexperienced teenager girl who was obviously trying to impress and rather vigorous to the extreme splitting his bango string. Claret all over.
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Hammer and Pickle
11:21 Sun Oct 11
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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I try doom, but they cry
"I am so small!"
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bruuuno
11:32 Sun Oct 11
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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About six months ago, I told her to suck me off and she looked at me as if to say hmm ok I don't normally do that but I'll give it a go. Just kind of licked it like it was a mini milk or something. And she was a bit of a unit!
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team boaty
11:36 Sun Oct 11
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Apparently geezers give the best blowjobs
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Scraper
11:39 Sun Oct 11
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Let's be honest here, Pickle. Your sex life is on the spectrum between non existent and lame.
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chim chim cha boo
12:00 Mon Oct 12
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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When I worked in porn a girl some of you might know called Delta White came and shot some scenes. She's a very good looking girl but has loads of piercings.
The soppy millionaire cunt who owned the company and 'starred' in the films bought her upstairs to post production (she was dressed as a schoolgirl at the time) and introduced her to us which he'd never done before with the other brasses. He was making a right fuss of her and was being on his best behaviour. This of course made us all very suspicious.
About half an hour later Dave the cameraman comes into the office with his camera and gets me to stick his digital tape into the machine for a look so we all gathered round the screen. He did this quite often when a shoot had gone wrong so we all looked forward to watching his porno disaster films.
I switch it on and there's good old Delta going at my bosses' nob like a dog on hot chips when suddenly she stops, looks up at him with a sort of confused face and spits out a spectacular amount of blood. One of her piercings had caught on his banjo string.
My boss (who's a fundamental Oxford-educated coward) screams like a girl and runs off to the bog. Dave follows him with the camera and he's screaming 'BETH (the studio manager) QUICK-HELP ME!' with blood pissing down his legs.
He was trying to get Beth to look at his tattered nob and put a bandage on it and she was saying 'fuck off I'm not going near that'.
Unfortunately it wasn't as bad as we all hoped it would be and so once he was nicely wrapped up he decided that as he'd probably given Delta White bad AIDS he'd do the gentlemanly thing and take her on a no-expenses-spared tour of the post-production offices on a ratty run-down industrial estate in Chessington.
I miss that job.
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Hammer and Pickle
12:08 Mon Oct 12
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Scraper 11:39 Sun Oct 11
Would you like to take over for an evening sunshine?
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Spandex Sidney
12:17 Mon Oct 12
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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bruuuno 11:32 Sun Oct 11
So your cock is the size of a mini milk? Mine is like a fucking MAGNUM!
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Hammer and Pickle
12:19 Mon Oct 12
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Guys.
This is all morally wrong.
It has been universally established that Spandex has no dick.
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Ronald_antly
12:41 Mon Oct 12
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Spandex Sidney wrote...
"So your cock is the size of a mini milk? Mine is like a fucking MAGNUM! "
0.44 inches?
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One Flew
12:45 Mon Oct 12
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Chim, I remember you, you used to write the readers letters in Men Only.
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After8
12:50 Mon Oct 12
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never had a bad one, we men know how to get the job done.
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Northern Sold
1:01 Mon Oct 12
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* claps hands *
Oh well.... that's the end of the thread...
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Honest Hammer
1:26 Mon Oct 12
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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Had a fair few where they've just sort of rolled the lips back over the teeth and just bobbed their head for a couple of minutes.
Zero helmet action too, unacceptable and were duly moved on.
Being dumped by me would be a low point in any young lady's youth.
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Alfs
1:38 Mon Oct 12
Re: The Worst Blow Job you ever had
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I'm very proud (and grateful) that my missus is WORLD CLASS when it comes to BJs.
She's a shit cook though - so swings and roundabouts.
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